I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
