he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
