I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
