I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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