Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
