He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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