Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it because I queefed?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
