I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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