I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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