Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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