I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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