How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
