You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
