I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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