If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
