So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I had to cum in my sink.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
