Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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