Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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