yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
