don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
