I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
