I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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