Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
