I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
