I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
