Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
