dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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