who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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