Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
