walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
