I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
