He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
