He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
