thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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