So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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