bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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