please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
