a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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