so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
