How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
