im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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