Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
