Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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