so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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