Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
