You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
