the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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