Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
