mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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