How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize