So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
