how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
