and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
