Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
