I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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