He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
