'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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