Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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